MY BRIEF FLIRTATION WITH STALKING

By Martin Bihl

I was waiting for a train when I noticed a guy holding a case for a Chapman stick -- a sort of modified bass guitar. Now, although I'd seen them played at concerts, I had never seen one of these things up close. So I started talking to him. Turns out, I'd heard of him, even though he wasn't that famous. He had a really unusual name, or rather two really unusual names; when he said the first one, I supplied the second. This weirded him out. He abruptly got up and left where we were sitting. But I still had to wait for a train, which turned out to be the same train he was waiting for. So we kept bumping into each other. This irked him further, and was compounded by my stammering, stuttering and generally being inarticulate every time it happened. But I mean, what do you say?, "Hey, sorry to bump into you! It's not like I'm stalking you or anything! Heh! Heh!" Or maybe I could turn the tables on him - "Hey, stop following me around, crazy musician guy!" Or perhaps I could have pretended the first conversation had never taken place. "Hey! Aren't you so and so? I love your stuff!" I don't know... I probably should have just left and taken a cab.